As Much As I Love Her

To be honest,I wonder how many could stand reading this post till the end...Its pretty much a situation I'm currently in and....Pretty much a havoc and is a kind of love-dilemma thing.....sigh....Its pretty much like,me being kind-of overly possessive and even jealous this time around with her...sigh...Not really my usual self...sigh....i asked some friends about it,and they tell me "its like that de, when you love someone so much and dearly, even small things that they do affects you significantly"

Honestly, really hope to revert back to my previous self where the basic policy I have is "It matters nothing other than she being happy,just going to be there and be supportive"...

Love really is so damn freaking complicated and influential eh....

Seriously,very scare that i might scare or irritate her...sigh....

Only solution left is pretty much trying to change for the better or maybe a bit more of my old self...sigh...someone gives me some help and opinion here..please..

a high jump

I just thought I had a really good high jump and being able to get in the groove after all the ups and downs we had throughout the years....

We went up before,

then,

We came down before,

now just when I thought we have the chemistry and again in ups,

We gotta take a step down again...

seriously a terrible stab...

ahhh.....seriously painful...

YET and HOWEVER,

my dear,

I really do understand that maybe our leap is a bit too huge,

and that, maybe things would be better if we take it slow and easy......

p.s. dear...I wonder if you would read this post, if you did....

I would like you to know that I didn't get angry at how things is making its turn now...

but, I still love you as I always do...and that,

let us use all the time that we have and I will be waiting for you

love dear..muakxx

huggies =)

weird...maybe not so much

Hm....To be honest,I really do miss her all the time...But i wonder whether its weird here or maybe its just not so weird...I actually watched a movie and listened to some very sweet and soft love songs today....And this is actually making me miss her more than ever....

Movies and Songs really do have their magic sometimes eh...

Anyone that haven't watch this movie should go download it

GHOST OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST

its so damn nice,

the best part is that;

It actually remind myself to appreciate her more, well she is pretty much the best possible girl that I could ever fall for.....

!!NO REGRETS!!

I wonder if I'm getting all too emotional and stuff....

There is this song that i had loved for bout 11years and i actually found it today

L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole

Man, y'all should try these 2, especially if you are in love...It would just suits your feelings so damn nicely....

Love you, dear :*

Ah.....Missing you so badly (but i actually just finish talking with you on the phone)

=)

belated birthday post

Wooo..This post is quite well about 11 days late...lol...Guess there would be a few people that might visit this blog of mine :)

To be honest,It was a full day from head to toe enjoyment...

I sang, I jump, I snap, I laugh, I smile, I enjoyed, I played,

and the greatest thing is that

My Dream Came True,

since young, I always wished that my closest friends would celebrate my birthday with me one day,

what more....This is my 21st...Its so totally awesome =)

Its a present only second to something I received from someone :)

(don't be mistaken..what I received is not something that money can buy)

Everything just came by so nicely....except for the final closing...That is the only setback...

Lets see, first stop is the REDBOX in The Curve...I think I sang about near 5hours...lol...

had never sing for such a long time before at all,

then...Dinner at Tony Romas (The Curve)...

All was good up till then...

There might just be a bit of a setback in the end of it...But,

sometimes it might just be good to disregard it, and take it as a Lesson to Learn :)

learn the word PUNCTUALITY :)

Overall....It have been an awesome night with 'almost' all the closest pals in the crowded,

would have hope a couple more to appeared,

xiang & carmen & you yang (y'all need to come next year)

Thanks to all that threw the party for me,

thanks~

cheng siong,cheow ling,cheng ying,pik hun,cui wah,joane,ah fai

love y'all..

mayb god bless all of us :)

loads of them bt stil lonely!!!???

To be honest, I have loads of friends a.k.a brothers and sisters...Many of which that really cares for me and would always gather for a drink & chat....There is even a good group of friends of mine that would even spend time to chat with me any time if I ever need them by my side or whenever I need any support....I'm even chatting daily with the girl of my life nowadays (p.s I'm still in single life mode)

But...Recently...I really really do feel very lonely at times, its like I have the world and yet I just don't really have anyone beside me....Maybe I do have them checking on my back all the time,I think they would....Really do believe so =) I really love you guys and girls =) it would have been real tough to find another group of friends I have currently =)

Or maybe the problems come from me myself....Pretty much an extrovert that likes to play and joke around with most of everybody but trying to force myself to stay at home all the time,basically forcing myself to live a life of an introvert.....

Sigh...Seriously hate this feeling of being lonesome and I'm so not going to be an Introvert!!!

So not me!! =)

its weird weird

Its a totally good morning :) this few days, I think I can say that it is very very pleasant and yet very very hard to pass through....Weird eh...Guess life is always full with suspense...every morning is like a torture and yet when it is at late night,I would like morning to come as soon as possible...Not that I want to grow old so soon....Who wants that anyway :)

I don't like to sms or message anyone at the wrong time,just in case the other party is busy on something and yet,every morning...I would like to message her so much or receive a sms from her...Its like a total torturing process but I'm kinda happy being in it @@

Totally unexplainable....Totally out of my mind...A happy torture chamber :P haha =)

all wen bac to the starting point

If there is one thing that can uplift the word ABSURD to the utmost....I think its LOVE..The word logic can never really link to it... :P

I don't think many would find it pretty surprise especially when you had found THE ONE you believe you would want to spend the rest of your life to be with,of cause with the condition you are really sincere to the other party =)

I had liked a girl previously (years back)...One whom I really loved a lot,basically more than any one I had ever loved =) however,everything didn't really work the way i wanted...

As time passes,I actually tried to go for other girls...

Thinking that I would be able to find someone-else that would actually be able to take her place....

Thinking that,maybe she isn't my miss right...Thinking that,why let yourself down because of one girl....

Thinking that,whether she would be my girl or not,life still need to go on....

But however I end up going out with other girl,I still end up missing her the most....Have not been daring enough to say this in front of anybody,partially to convince/lie to (even) myself....Guess I'm really not that good of a liar any more,or maybe I just can't live in a love life that have me lying in it...End up the girl that I have always loved the most remains as the girl that I will always love and stay in the place where she had always occupies in me :)

However,as for now....everything is still on a hold....I will be patience and work real hard in every aspect because I would really want to give the best that life can give to a person to her XD

MY DEAR....Really really love you very much =)

p.s To all that read this post...I know you all may find it hard to believe that I wrote all these, but this is a post where every word is just as true as you read it =)

a quiz about myself..

its actually a quiz that might jz b quite accurate...try da quiz...its alwaz kinda fun to play one at times...especially wen it says bout u

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

tell me how u all think of my result :)

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

woah....lifes.....argh

god damn it....being in 2nd year advanced diploma....basically is another definition of working my ass off...assignments...tests...presentations....stuffs getting pretty tough and tiring.. ...bt,guess i ought to b happy here (so weird eh...kinda like paradox eh....lolx...well dats life...full of weirdness,anyway back to da post :P )....b happy for the things i hav n nt being sad coz i hav so much things in life dat i would like to hav....jz gotta work for da things dat i would like to hav in life....lets c wat i hav here....hm....a gud lot of close friends....a huge bunch of gud friends....a very little amount of sick-ass ppl (gotta thank these ppl too....they taught me a serious gud lesson,something better to learn early den late)....a few bloody funny tutors/friends...some (close o gud) dat will nvr b afraid to speak for me,cool me off and even solve problems for me.....a couple of insanely close cousins...frienz frienz frienz....basically the seasoning to my life :D results....abit sad...bt..results r basically wat i work for....its nt so gud,means i gotta work harder...gotta get motivated n hyped...career...i think i hav a glimpes of it d...i noe wat i wan..o shud i say,i noe what im gud n suitable in.....jz wonder if i gonna end up in it...love is da one thing i would nid some time to rily manage it though...lol...anyway,it will b here wen im rdy for it.... so no sweat... :D stay optimistic n smilez all da time

everyone....stay happy k....life is complicated...bt if u cn njoy some complications n solving probs....life is basically a bloody long roller coaster,that hav a long way down n abit shorter ups....so...njoy the xcitement goin all da way....rily gotta thank these ppl though,jienyeen (one of da best companion though alwaz bz for tests n etc [she is a medic student,ya noe]),cheng ying (my partial heng dai/ji mui...lol),cheow ling (the little sweet gal), alex and tim (da unreplaceable wonder bros/cousins),cui wah (both of us kinda spend alot of time chatting n cooling off each other),kok meng (one long known guy dat i seriously believe will b ther to giv me hints of how bad life can b)....pik hun (da pretty one..lol...could jz b one of da sweet gal [too bad,she is unavailable...lol...so guys can all forget bout her d..lol])...cheng siong (woah...dis guy is alwaz ther whenever i would nid some kinda help....though getting him out of da hse is one tough task...lol)

anyhow....i think i ought to b grateful wif wat i hav here....its a special string dat pulls everything together....hope the strings jz get stronger n mur nice ppl get tied up together :)

alamak.....wat is dis place.....

omg....can u believe i been to dis place... :P lolx

dis is juz the beginning of HELLL!!!! lolx.....u haven c the better of it yet.... :P

well actually dis is a place i been to a couple of weeks bac....1st impression....omg,did i wen into the wrong room.....it was suppose to b my brother's room.....lets c the nex photo!!

c!!! c!!! wen i c dis (erm......) [i oso dunno wat to name for the stuffs on the floor]....y'all tell me wat r they ba....i c some books,notes,ball....

ther is one more pic....the BEST!!!! of the 3.... check it out...lolx

dis pic lagi geng leh....haha....i rily rily couldn believe dat dis is actually a room of my bros'.....

nah nah nah....ppl...i noe i hav a kinda bad record for having a clean n tidy room....bt dis is way off da league of mine...hehe...i hav only seen another room of my friend in hostel dat is almost comparable to dis room of my bro...hm....its a gal's room though...lolx..i bet u noe who i meant eh...hehe...the one n only person who can compete wif my bro..lolx....

oh yeah....dun ever get the thought dat im one of da culprit for dis mess oh....im totally innocent....hehe...i even helped to clean the matress abit.....u c the stack of books at the side of the bed (1st picture) ...dats my work...lolx...at least i was able to sit on the matress nicely....hehe

so......wat do u think of ur own room nw???messy???nah......way way way not up to da standard of messy (mayb more of chaos eh..) yet...hehe....think of dis room wen u thought of ur own room...i think u might feel better n prouder of ur own room (bein so "tidy" compare to my bro's) lolx...

gotta thx my bro for such a great job wif his room n for these photos...lolx...

TRY BEAT MY BRO'S ROOM OF CHAOS N MESS!!!!!! post ur pic here if u can lo.....wakakaka

nite in 4 season cafe

omg....all the pics wher she (rainie) rejects...hehe....well,im sory...v cant hide the bad pics,u noe.....dun worry....u dun look all dat bad la...hehe....stil look (ehem) very gud arh... :P stil gud looking :)

<

<

well dis r the few ppl dat wen to a cafe called '4 season' wif me~~the upstairs was splendid bt da lower part of it is more of a turn-down.....haih....well dis pics r the ones v took wen v r on the top....the drinks r abit better den the worst drink dat i had drank....they r nt rily well worth for its price....bt the place is nice...real sweet....well,v had fun,everyone joked n played....dun go the "wrong" way k~~~everything were decent...lolx...

finally......freedommm~

finallly.....exams over~.....wouldn wanna think bout da life i had for the periods i used to study....cham cham....i was more like the zombie in a horrow movie more than like a man.....the eyes were red wif those veins and i nearly entered the guiness record for the length of eyes bulged out~~~lolx....kena sorethroat d summore....cham lor~bt suan la...al da cham cham period r nw all over....gonna start a gud holiday~~~oh ya...hey,guys.....dun ever go for the movie 'coming soon'......so NOT scary......dun try to scare urself wif dis movie,u will b SO dissapointed.....lolx......anyhow the exam started well n ended consider well oso geh....most of da ppl r happy....guess i should b one oso....should b ok dat i would b goin to second year d (i think i pass enuf to go to second year gua~) :) though the results r nt out yet.....haih.....scary scary....as for nw...the plan for holiday is pretty simple....balik kampung....hang out wif some friends...hav loads of them dat i hope to meet... :D whummie (she is a sure to find :) ....cant wait to meet ya~),kok mun~~~my best-est male bud in ipoh~~~lolx.....gonna be in penang for a couple of days......woah....looks like a nice hectic well-planned holiday....wonder if things will ever work the way i hope to....hehe.....as for y'all,,,,happppeeeee~~~~hoooliiiiiiiiidayyyyyyy~~~go hav a hell of a holiday oh.....once the sem start,y'all will so regret it dat u din play n njoy enuf......life is bout njoy play sleep n eat n play n njoy.....kip the last place bout life for study n exam though~~~cant live without them though....anyway,,,,,pppplllllllllzzzzz.......juz hav a gud holiday....i will show u some pic some some time wen i come bac from holidays~~~btw....for the ones (cheng ying,alicia,pik hun) dat r goin abroad,,,,hav a gud n save trip k.....most importantly,rmb my souveniors oh~~~hehe... so long pplzzz :)

thx y'all.....

actually leh....im at da door of exam nw....exam in less den 36 hours....haih...cham cham cham...bt somehow suddenly i feel so much like thanking ppl....well,y'all noe who u guys n gals are...rily-rily gotta say,y'all did a gud job otivating me....wen im down,u ppl r ther joking....wen my head is stuck,u ppl will b ther doin story telling...hehe.....wen v r all down,v will end up talking non-stop....in the end;phone bill gao-gao.....dats the best part...lolx....can anyone imagine my bill abit...bout rm200 leh....break my own record d....made some serious long-winded phone calls...bt i njoy each n every one of them though.,...hehe...coz usually i chat wif a gal at the end of the phone geh....hehe...anyhow i cant b too-long winded d......gtg get bac onto the table n study...(sigh~)...cham cham cham.....anyhow..i wan to thank some ppl here.....erm,start wif;khai wom (the one wif the best laugh..hehe),rainie (the one dat plays n jokes all da time [oh ya,abit siow-siow oso]....omg...she is gonna kill me...hehe),mee leng (ya gotta noe,she is one gal dat supports me da most...one of the best heart-to-heart chit-chatter..lolx....wonder if ther is even dis word),chong xiang n chin kok mun (2 of da fellas dat leads my boy bands in my close friend list),gideon (i spent loads of time wif him dis couple of week though,he kept me accompanied alot...well i dun think he is gay o interested in me geh....he is straight...so gals....wanna get to noe dis hansem guy....juz msg me...i will tell y'all....hehe)...alamak....rily gtg d.....bout 2am d.....sigh....exam exam exam=stress,loads of supper,bed..i get sleepy all da time...hehe....

haih.....exams on its way~

im sory...'the part 2' post gotta get postponed for a month or so...coz my pc is down n all da pics is in my pc.....well...i dun think dis post is gonna hav any pics though....sad~...dis is bout my life in da nex couple of weeks due to preparation to exam...can u believe it!!??....my preparation is stil not done yet.....luckily loads of friends r kinda da same fate as i am......hehe....omg....i think im bein influenced too much by couple of gud friends d.....all those little "angel" (u all noe who u ar..wakaka).....lolx.....turning me into one of y'all d....hehe...all those like cheong xuan,xiang,timothy,cheow ling,cheng ying,jien yeen,vivian,khai wom,erica,mee leng,fhei (how can i miss u gals nt being into the "angel" list).....wakaka...juz kidding only la....these ppl r more of an angel more den the "angel" geh...hehe.....anyway...i cant b saying too much here....y'all gotta noe,even angel KILLs...i gotta stay on da safe side :D ...all dat nid to resit o gonna hav exam....gambate k....all dat nid to work whether intern o not.....dun nid to work so hard punya la.....no xtra income punya de....if the seniors bully u...den juz GORENG them.....den gao tiam d, as simple as A,B,C.....take care n stay pretty :D

something i missed...part 1...lolx

lolx...dis post shuld hav been something i post here long ago.....kinda like 1 month too late d....lolx...actually its bout a camp i wen to last month...hehe...its one damn crazy n would take a toll on anyone which is kinda like a sleepy head (like me....lolx....hehe)....
okok....get bac to da camp...well,erm.....its a 3day2nitez camp in port dickson.....a kinda nice hotel wif a huge pool (bt i din get a chance to go into it....too bz wif all da games n events)...da cool part of it is....da inspiration i got ther.....man!!!!da inspriration i get from ther is nothing like anything i got from anywher else....anyway....da 1st day,i end-up wif a gang of roommates a.k.a bedmates...lolx...haha....6 ppl in a lot....n my room end up wif 4 guys....so v gotta share all da space on the bed...lolx...den da 1st thing i did wen i reach da hall is DANCE!!haha....my 1st time dancing in public....i was like.....wat got into me....haha...i was moving like crazy...din care wat ppl were doin nex to me...i juz cont to shake my body...lolx...haha...the music was damn coolzzz.....shake shake ppl....well dis is getting kinda long winded....i juz gonna cont part 2 n 3 wif wat happen lo....kip in view lo...lolx :D thx ppl for getting me to dis camp....i luv y'all...

dis is my gang of friens.....hehe...i hav some other pics too,bt check them out in the following posts k...hehe...imagine the amount of ppl dat i gotta noe in the 3 days... hehe...all cool pplzzzzzzz n da pool :p

so much for a march christmas.....

well....dis r some important ppl to me... :D...ther r more....mayb i will post y'all nex time....in another blog :D

im following some series.....guess many of u now bout it :D its supernatural....man,,,i juz hit the one dat hit the christmas....somehow they make me feel so much like christmas (season 3 episode 3).....they spend it wif their brother.....man,they make me really feel so much like celebrating a christmas wif a couple damn cousins (o rather specific,they are my brothers) of mine n of coz some gals....hehe....getting abit greedy of me,i rily hope to past christmas wif da gal i love....hopefully my gf by den....but....sigh....i doubt dat will happen real soon.....christmas is kinda far away even for dis year...lolx....its only march.....christmas is so far away....bt one thing im sure is....i hav a couple of very cool cousins....the ones which rily luvs me as a brother....i luv y'all too...bro...as to my 'future' gf....yeah...i luv u too... :D .....suddenly im getting all so satisfied wif having dis cool couz. a.k.a brothersss...n of coz the 'heng tai' (bros a.k.a friends) and gal-friends too such as chong xiang,cheow ling and....omg...i cant list them all out...bt u ppl noe who u all r to b....y'all my family members...hopefully my future ms.right is from one of y'all...i dun wan to wait so long to seek for somebody i dunno yet...hehe...chaoz ppl....take care